Whenever someone uses the phrase, "This will change your life," the cynic in me has always been quick to disagree, regardless of circumstance. So when friends and family deemed the St. Baldrick's head-shaving a potential life changer, I scoffed. It was just HAIR, for goodness' sake. How could that possibly alter life as we know it?
Well, today — exactly one month post-shave — I'm here to admit I was wrong. This was the adventure of a lifetime on so many levels, it's tough to enumerate them all.
First, it was a complete game changer in understanding how much appearance matters. Not only to me personally , but to the wider world. Let's amend that a bit — how much WOMEN'S appearances matter. I've been judged, pitied, gawked at, anything but my usual quasi-invisible self the last month.
Last weekend, we attended the wedding of two close friends. My worry was that the shaved head would somehow detract from the bride and groom, but they were on board months ago and came running up at their earliest opportunity for hugs and head-rubbings. (Why people are so fascinated with the feel is beyond me LOL) So if the bride herself didn't care, why did all conversation among the female guests abruptly cease every time I stepped into the ladies' room? Two words for you, judgmental Philly beatches.
Second, it restored some much-needed faith in human nature. As I've repeatedly told Ray, the people who stepped up were just so awesomely random — emailing, donating, coordinating, offering up door prizes, creating Team Fahoury t-shirts, knitting custom hats, bringing us fun presents (like that fab purple wig from my sister!), the list goes on and on.
Clients, friends, family, new acquaintances, business colleagues. I look at the day's photos and marvel at the wonderful people we're blessed to have in our lives. The outpouring of support was truly unexpected and completely mind-blowing. Especially Ray joining me so generously and unexpectedly because, as he admitted to a reporter that day, "I just couldn't let Lisa shave her head alone." Looking back, I can't imagine having done this without him and so many others by my side.
Finally, the lessons learned were numerous and indeed life-altering. Going out in public with a shaved head, I quickly gained a sense of how judgmental people can be — myself included.
In the past, it rarely occurred to me to give rude strangers the benefit of the doubt. Now, I find myself considering what unseen burdens they might be carrying, and not taking it so personally when someone is less than their best self. That's a viewpoint I hope will stick for many years to come. Unless they're on their cellphone in the checkout line. That remains worthy of a beat-down and always will be. Listen, good will only stretches so far.
I also will be eternally grateful for the good health enjoyed by the O'Donnell, Flanigan and Fahoury children in our family — and hold in highest esteem parents who are forced to face unimaginable demons and still somehow keep it together for the sake of their families. We had the privilege of meeting several wonderful families at the St. Baldrick's event, and you are in our prayers.
Thank you to everyone who has followed along with us in our travels during the last few months. Your support has meant the world to Raymond & me. Meaning to donate but haven't gotten around to it? There's still time.
The closer my hair gets to what passes for "normal," I realize our St. Baldrick's adventure has technically come to a close. But the lessons learned have been worthy of a lifetime.
And who knows? Maybe worth a reminder shave next September :)
PS One practical tip: If you ever DO have your head shaved, skip the lip gloss during the big moment. Speaking from experience, it was not pretty LOL
