Thus Endeth the Lesson

Whenever someone uses the phrase, "This will change your life," the cynic in me has always been quick to disagree, regardless of circumstance. So when friends and family deemed the St. Baldrick's head-shaving a potential life changer, I scoffed. It was just HAIR, for goodness' sake. How could that possibly alter life as we know it?

Well, today — exactly one month post-shave — I'm here to admit I was wrong. This was the adventure of a lifetime on so many levels, it's tough to enumerate them all.

First, it was a complete game changer in understanding how much appearance matters. Not only to me personally , but to the wider world. Let's amend that a bit — how much WOMEN'S appearances matter. I've been judged, pitied, gawked at, anything but my usual quasi-invisible self the last month.

Last weekend, we attended the wedding of two close friends. My worry was that the shaved head would somehow detract from the bride and groom, but they were on board months ago and came running up at their earliest opportunity for hugs and head-rubbings. (Why people are so fascinated with the feel is beyond me LOL) So if the bride herself didn't care, why did all conversation among the female guests abruptly cease every time I stepped into the ladies' room? Two words for you, judgmental Philly beatches.

Second, it restored some much-needed faith in human nature. As I've repeatedly told Ray, the people who stepped up were just so awesomely random — emailing, donating, coordinating, offering up door prizes, creating Team Fahoury t-shirts, knitting custom hats, bringing us fun presents (like that fab purple wig from my sister!), the list goes on and on.

Clients, friends, family, new acquaintances, business colleagues. I look at the day's photos and marvel at the wonderful people we're blessed to have in our lives. The outpouring of support was truly unexpected and completely mind-blowing. Especially Ray joining me so generously and unexpectedly because, as he admitted to a reporter that day, "I just couldn't let Lisa shave her head alone." Looking back, I can't imagine having done this without him and so many others by my side.

Finally, the lessons learned were numerous and indeed life-altering. Going out in public with a shaved head, I quickly gained a sense of how judgmental people can be — myself included.

In the past, it rarely occurred to me to give rude strangers the benefit of the doubt. Now, I find myself considering what unseen burdens they might be carrying, and not taking it so personally when someone is less than their best self. That's a viewpoint I hope will stick for many years to come. Unless they're on their cellphone in the checkout line. That remains worthy of a beat-down and always will be. Listen, good will only stretches so far.

I also will be eternally grateful for the good health enjoyed by the O'Donnell, Flanigan and Fahoury children in our family — and hold in highest esteem parents who are forced to face unimaginable demons and still somehow keep it together for the sake of their families. We had the privilege of meeting several wonderful families at the St. Baldrick's event, and you are in our prayers.

Thank you to everyone who has followed along with us in our travels during the last few months. Your support has meant the world to Raymond & me. Meaning to donate but haven't gotten around to it? There's still time.

The closer my hair gets to what passes for "normal," I realize our St. Baldrick's adventure has technically come to a close. But the lessons learned have been worthy of a lifetime.

And who knows? Maybe worth a reminder shave next September :)

PS One practical tip: If you ever DO have your head shaved, skip the lip gloss during the big moment. Speaking from experience, it was not pretty LOL

Three Weeks & Counting

I have to admit, I haven't given much serious thought to gender roles in recent years. But it irks me that hair — or lack thereof — matters so darn much.

After our head shaving adventure last month, Ray went back to work on Monday and didn't miss a beat. Colleagues who donated were of course excited to see his new look and hear all about the event, but strangers on the street didn't even look twice.

Me, on the other hand? For the three weeks I've been hiding behind a big blue button that reads, "Ask Me Why I'm Bald!" I've had to deal with the double-takes at the supermarket, in the car, never mind the business events.

It's been a real trade-off — loving the streamlined morning prep, but knowing it comes at a price the minute I walk out the door. Is she sick? Obnoxious? Gay? Attention-seeking? Making a radical statement? Suffering from head lice? On a reality show?

The psychology of this whole experience has been unexpectedly — and simultaneously — fascinating, exhausting, and aggravating. And yes, worth every minute of it.

The New Normal

Life's finally settling back in after the St. Baldrick's event last weekend. Spent the last week struggling with the occasional chilly head and some even chillier reactions.

I'm continually amazed how strangers assume I'm making some kind of statement. About what, I'm not sure. But I do know that the whole head-shaving experience has changed me in ways I didn't anticipate — and in some that I did.

One is the very visible reminder of the aging process — gray hair. Tough to do a touch-up when your hair's less than a 1/4" long. Also had a hilarious conversation with my 19-year-old niece in Macy's. I commented that every time I put on a head scarf, I felt like Rhoda. She asked, "Rhoda who?" I said, "You know, from the Mary Tyler Moore show?" Her response: "Mary who?"

Tomorrow, a major business test — sitting on an integrated marketing panel in front of 60+ inBiz Connection attendees. Want to come see my bald head and pick up some priceless marketing wisdom at the same time? Details here. And yes, I'll be looking just a bit different than the headshot!

Bald and Bold

I'm well into my first week of baldness and it's given me more pause than I originally anticipated. Several times, I've found myself wishing I'd done certain things last week — like pick up my dry cleaning or make a deposit at the bank — simply to avoid having to explain my lack of hair.

If people don't ask, do I offer? This is more of a dilemma than I suspected. I've reconciled it by ignoring gawking strangers and flashing my "Ask Me Why I'm Bald" button as a badge of honor to acquaintances like the bank teller or dry cleaner.

Yesterday, I was apparently quite the sight on the Garden State Parkway -- tooling back from a client meeting in Monmouth with the top down and enjoying the late summer sunshine. (Note to self: Toss some sunscreen in the glove box, will ya?)

Funny how quickly I've forgotten I'm bald — until I glance at my reflection or see the reaction on strangers' faces. Guess that's sort of the point, huh?

PS Great team "before" pic above. Don't those t-shirts look AWESOME? Thanks again to Stephanie and Sally for coordinating.

The Power of Insulation

The experience of being bald, as you can imagine, has been enlightening on a few levels.

Until now, I never appreciated the insulating properties of my hair. Not just physically, but also emotionally.

When we got home on Saturday night, I went into the bathroom to wash my face. When I flipped on the lights, I suddenly realized I could feel the heat from the vanity bulbs on my scalp. What a weird and unexpected sensation.

Sunday, another awakening as I paused in the shower for a good minute, debating whether stubble really needed even the most modest amount of shampoo and/or conditioner. And that first blast of water from the shower? Ouch.

Of course, the insulating power of hair — or its absence — manifested itself most importantly as we ventured out on Sunday morning to run errands. People had seen me without hair on Saturday night, so what was the big deal, right? But on Saturday, everyone at the Shillelagh Club knew EXACTLY why I was bald — no explanation necessary. It was a protected, friendly and supportive environment, even among strangers.

On Sunday, no such luck. I felt completely exposed — all eyes were on me every time I stepped out of the car. Whether real or perceived, I felt judged, pitied, and gawked at, all simultaneously. What a tremendous eye opener, and a tough sensation for someone who's spent her life trying to blend in, not stand out.

On the positive side, beautiful has replaced brave as the adjective of choice. I was even told I looked "badass" at the West Orange town picnic yesterday — awesome!

On the even more positive side, Ray & I are well on our way to exceeding the SIX THOUSAND DOLLAR mark in donations — all thanks to you. Our St. Baldrick's donation page will remain up for a while, so if you have yet to contribute to this eminently worthy cause, please consider doing so today.

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Wow, what a day! Wonderful friends and family, a stylish new haircut, and OVER SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS raised to support childhood cancer research.

I can't begin to describe what an amazing experience this has been on so many levels. Not tonight anyway. Maybe when I've had sufficient time to process the magnitude of what's transpired. It might take a while :)

The Day of Reckoning Has Arrived

Be careful what you wish for. As many times as I said, "I wish Sept 18 would just get here already," now that today's the day I'm facing it with mixed feelings.

From a practical standpoint, my hair's a mess. I haven't had a proper haircut in months — me, who's usually on the five-week-schedule like clockwork. I actually had Raymond trim the back a few weeks ago to get rid of what was looking & feeling suspiciously mullet-like.

But emotionally, I don't know if I'm ready. Not to lose the hair, but to lose the experience. St. Baldrick's has become such a big topic of conversation over the last few months — why are you doing this? how much do they cut? will you wear a wig? are ya nuts? — and I've become very practiced in my answers.

Now that conversation is going to change to a whole new set of questions. How does it feel? How do you feel when you look in the mirror? Was it worth it? And I'll be forced to come up with a whole new set of answers.

I discovered a long time ago that preparation is key when you're someone who does not enjoy being the center of attention. It's the shield that lets you deflect the attention back where it belongs.

In this case, it's St. Baldrick's. They're the saints, not me — raising $90 million in the last 10 years that will hopefully serve as the catalyst to eradicating children's cancer.

Today's it's one small loss for a woman, and one hopefully giant leap for quality of life for kids and families everywhere — maybe even yours.

Hope to see you this afternoon here in West Orange!

Now, It's Personal

We recently got the sad news that a good friend's 20-something daughter had been diagnosed with breast cancer — after losing her mom to the same illness when she was in middle school. Earlier this week, she underwent a double mastectomy.

Now, her two younger sisters are faced with the unthinkable — getting tested for the BRCA genes and possibly having to make a choice that no one should ever have to make.

As far as I'm concerned, anyone in their 20s IS a kid — and deserves the right to enjoy their youth without worrying about life-altering issues for just a little while.

So Jaime and family, for whatever it's worth, this haircut's for you.